Dear Diary Lyrics –Joe Budden

10-3-07
The soundtrack to my life is like CNN first shit
Images like CNN but worse shit
I would down the whole Pinot Gris
But I'd see the Group Home without the Premo beats
And it hurts my soul
I'm a Warrior so though the odds is against a nigga Dirk gon choke
Some people confide in the person that they sleep with
Ive learned theres no such thing as a secret (oh)
I can't describe the feeling I get
You was riding shotgun I was wheeling the whip
Shit I even let you rock out
Being Bill Belichick tapin from the sidelines stealin my shit
But dawg you was like a mini me
Mocked me envied me turns out you was blowin hot air Kenny G
But you was cool accepted you instantly
Not a groupie but you had a few tendencies
And though we share a few memories
A couple wrong turns'll turn a friend to an enemy
See phony people like phony people
Even you could be mistaken if you phone these people
Look when you invite the nerds to the cool table
shit is bound to break up like a pool table Some wack dudes'll start feeling like the shit
And you thinkin its you its really where you sit
Or maybe you was neglected
Cause when you take the front down and strip a nigga naked hes dying to be accepted (oh)
I did that just the way you was
Now you a stranger nothing like the way you was
But uh you not real you not Rachel
You not Worm you not Dill shit you not chill
I thought you had some (?)
fuck the fake shit I'm really feelin that you tryna screw me
And you a lil smarter than the average dude
So it took a nigga just a lil longer to see
They tried to warn me fought with my girl every night about you
shit only hurts cause she was right about you
She run around wanting to shoot you the fair one
I keep telling her chill I don't care none
I got another side I never showed to you
The side where everybody is disposable
See relationships are never a threat
Cause Ill erase the history and act like we never met
Become done giving a fuck and done callin
I got your e-mail I was done way before then (oh)
Dear Diary I don't wanna keep shit inside of me
Id rather just speak to you privately
Maybe its my mood as far as I can see
Theres really no point in having this guy with me
Change from the days of us getting in your truck
Its bigger than one song its bigger than a buck
Its bigger than me bigger than buck
Bigger than voodoo its bigger than luck shit its bigger than us
I always call niggas fools for wanting to learn the hard way (when)
When I'm really the fool for tryna teach'em
When the blinds leading the blind you can't reach'em
If niggas aint as hungry as you then why feed'em
Niggas aint tryna be lead then why lead'em
Having big problems with your dogs why breed'em
Ill keep my part up keep my guard up
Was like Thundercats but changed faster than Cheetara
Just a small part of a larger issue
Sometimes acceptance is so hard to get to
But we all equal no one lower or above me
I love my team just as much as they love me
If not more
If I turn the knob we all going through the door I aint coming back for yall
The whole crew feel the same as me
How could you ignore something so plain to see
I'm being ig'nant that get on my nerves every minute
What's plain to some is really Burberry printed
Being so real sometimes is a slow kill
We was one squad you broke out like Mike Schofield
I want fillet mignon you want oatmeal
Add up our differences equals up to no meal
No mills yup no deal why you gotta chase shit
To know its no thrills
For real a nigga still beefin with his baby momma (BUT)
Only thing my baby aint a baby no more
Hit her on MySpace maybe she aint shady no more
Sent old girl a message no reply but she read it
Some things are so embedded and our heads is
Looking for O's but get X's, dealing wit ya exes
I was one long line away from the Tetris
She sent me the L that sent me to hell
To the point where I was ignoring my son
I don't see him don't talk to him
I don't greet him don't walk wit him
But I pay for him like hes an object
No matter how right I am in court I can't object
Dear Diary how could she deny me
How she go to bed without her fuckin wit her psyche
Is she wrong using him so I can come back (or)
Or am I wrong for wishing I could get my cum back
Looking for sun all I see is the hail
How I'm gon trust All I see is betrayal
Its like they keep trying more and more to subdue me
And only you understand signed by yours truly